This may come as a surprise to you – or it may not, but did you know that there are people in the world that would like to see me dead? Many of those would actually like to be the one to do the deed. Todd Kincannon, former head of the South Carolina Republican Party recently said we (transgender people) should be put in concentration camps – or mental institutions. Really, he did.

Dozens of Transgender people are murdered each year – solely because they are Transgender.

We remember these brave souls who chose to live authentically in spite of the danger on November 20th each year – The Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Most of those who are killed are beaten to death. Up close and personal. For the life of me – I can’t figure out why?

It is said that the perpetrators of this unspeakable and pointless violence experience “Trans Phobia.” “Phobia” is a Latin word meaning “Fear.” “Trans” is “little old me.” Do we really think transgender women scare these violent people? I like the quote being attributed to Morgan Freeman, (it wasn’t his, but) it says: “I hate the word “trans phobia”, because you’re not afraid of transgender people. It’s not fear. You’re not scared, you’re just an asshole. For those of you reading this who are not transgender, or for those of you who may be questioning, I will lay out some basic facts about my transition. Some or all of these may apply to others.

Before transition, I wasn’t much of a physical threat to anyone. Although I stand 6 feet tall, I am slender and I just wasn’t wired that way. Not to say I haven’t found myself in a few fight or flight situations over the years. Given the choice, flight seemed like the best option.

When I underwent my transition to female, my already slender frame and non-confrontational approach only became more obvious.  I smile a lot more and much prefer holding a hand to making a fist.

 I’ve been taking female hormones for 10 months that have given me a female blood chemistry. The effects are many: 

  • My upper body strength has ebbed.
  • I have small but perky breasts
  • My muscle mass had been greatly reduced
  • My skin is much softer than it’s ever been
  • Any remnants of male aggression have disappeared (This is not to be confused with my willingness to stand up for my rights or the rights of others, which has not disappeared)

In addition to that, I’m just kind of a girly girl anyway. I prefer dresses to pants, I like cute shoes, I keep my nails manicured and painted and don’t like breaking my nails – let alone my fingers!

So, why would someone want to physically attack someone like me? I’m no match physically for you, I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to live my life and let you live yours.  Do you hit girls? Do you beat children? Trip people on crutches?

Are you angry because you feel attracted to me? Please don’t be angry with me, I’m not trying to “fool you” I am just living my life. Just like any other woman, I don’t deserve to be raped or beaten because of how I dress. If you can’t control yourself, I urge you to get counseling before you end up in prison for the rest of your life.

I’m sure you have hopes and dreams just like I do. No sense missing out on those because you beat someone to death because you were attracted to them and all they did was cross your angry bigoted path at the wrong time. Maybe your friends gave you a hard time for flirting with me or whistling at me. Take it up with them. I don’t deserve to have my blood spilled because your buddy called you a name.

I know you are all busy – but would you please join me on November 20th as we remember the members of our community who left us this past year at the hands of another. These aren’t accident victims, they are murder victims and there are far too many. Here’s hoping we can reduce that number to zero. I don’t think that’s asking too much.

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