Dear Leslie’s feet,
For many years now, I have not had sufficient appreciation for what you have done for me. I have been far too caught up in what you’ve done to me. I’ve often griped that you are too big; comparing you to those of Fred Flintstone or some other derogatory term.
I’ve crammed you into heels and shushed you as you cried in pain as we’ve walked together. I have, at times, been not so silent in my wish that you were smaller – much smaller…along with my height. (which I wish was about 6 inches less)
However, in giving you some thought, I must also thank you. You have provided a stable platform for me to walk, run and enjoy life. You have put up with a lot of discomfort in order to wear cute shoes.
But most of all; my dear sweet size 12s – you have likely saved me a ton of money! I shudder to think what might have happened had you been size 7 or 8 – heaven forbid! If the cornucopia of adorable shoes that is laid before me on a daily basis both on line and in stores were to have sizes that fit me – I would surely starve to death for lack of funds, having spent all available resources on amazing 4 and 5” heels with cute straps and embellishments. On exotic impractical pumps with red soles – on knee high boots in every color. Oxfords and flip flops and peep toes, oh my!
I would be one of those girls that would need a closet – just for her shoes! But alas, you have forced me to be practical. The options available for girls with giant feet are slim indeed. Finding cute strappy sandals with a 3 inch heel in a size 12 are as common as Bigfoot sightings – OK, sorry, maybe Bigfoot wasn’t the best example! Um, how about as common as Sasquatch sightings?
So please accept my apologies dear feet of mine. You have taken me places I’d have never been able to go without you. Long walks on the beach, climbing over rocks and trails in my beloved Sierra Nevada Mountains and swimming in lakes, rivers and oceans. You’ve been good to me. You deserve some TLC in return.
But couldn’t we have still done that stuff in a size 7? Just sayin’.